Motherhood, identity, and the story behind PINK again
I didn’t lose myself all at once.
There wasn’t a single moment where I woke up and thought,
I don’t know who I am anymore.
It happened slowly.
In between school drop-offs, late nights, unfinished to-do lists,
and constantly thinking about what everyone else needed from me.
Somewhere in all of that…
I just stopped choosing myself.
For a long time, almost ten years, if I’m being honest,
I was in survival mode.
Or maybe more accurately… autopilot.
Doing what needed to be done.
Showing up where I was needed.
Moving from one responsibility to the next.
Without really pausing to ask myself how I felt in any of it.
I am a mother of four.
And that is the greatest blessing of my life.
Motherhood softened me.
It strengthened me.
It gave my life a depth and purpose I will never be able to fully put into words.
But if I’m being honest…
it also required so much of me.
Not in a way that felt wrong.
But in a way that slowly, quietly, asked me to put myself last.
Again and again.
And the truth is,
we get used to that.
We get used to pushing through.
To minimizing our own needs.
To telling ourselves,
“I’ll deal with it later.”
But later doesn’t always come.
Sometimes it just turns into years.
At the same time, I was building Harma.
A brand rooted in meaning, purpose, and giving back.
A brand I love deeply.
But even in building something that was mine…
I was still pouring from the same place.
Giving. Creating. Showing up.
And rarely asking,
what about me?
There wasn’t a breaking point.
Just a quiet realization one day that stayed with me longer than I expected:
I couldn’t remember the last time I chose something just for me.
Not as a mother.
Not as a business owner.
Not for anyone else.
Just… me.
That realization didn’t come with guilt.
It came with clarity.
A gentle understanding that taking care of yourself isn’t extra.
It isn’t something you earn after everything else is done.
It’s essential.
Because you cannot keep pouring from a place that hasn’t been filled in so long.
That’s where PINK again came from.
Not from a strategy.
Not from a trend.
But from a feeling I knew other women were carrying too.
The feeling of being so full of love for others…
but slowly feeling disconnected from yourself.
I didn’t want to create something loud or overwhelming.
I wanted to create something soft.
A reminder that you are still here.
That you are still allowed to feel like yourself.
What choosing myself looks like now isn’t big or dramatic.
It’s small.
Wearing a piece of jewelry that feels like me.
Taking an extra few minutes in the morning.
Letting myself pause instead of always pushing through.
Letting myself feel… instead of constantly functioning.
It’s not perfect.
And it’s not consistent.
But it’s a beginning.
If you’ve been feeling like you’ve lost a part of yourself…
you’re not alone.
And more importantly,
you’re not gone.
You’re still there.
You don’t have to become someone new.
You just have to come back.
Slowly.
Gently.
In your own time.
PINK again is my reminder.
If you feel like you’re in that season too…
maybe it can be yours.
Explore the PINK again collection: created for women who are finding their way back to themselves.
Love,
Maryam
🦩
I Didn’t Realize I Was Losing Myself
